Photo of Makenzie, Ify, and I cheersing in Oaxaca. Shot on 35mm (2021).
Remember sleepovers before smartphones, AIM, and dial-up internet?
You and a friend or cousin or sibling were elated just to be around eachother. Up all night giggling and gisting, asking and answering questions ranging in depth and topic. Mostly silly, mischievous, non-sensical shit. The sun would flicker through a curtain, or someone’s mom would barge into the room and yell, “SHHHHHhhHh!”
Life slowed. Bonds strengthened. No binary existed of fun or fulfilling.
It was ALL of it.
Relationships thickened with laughter and sweetened with tears.
I still have these moments with a handful of friends, select family, the occasional lovely stranger, and thankfully, almost every night with Cortney (if one of us hasn’t already passed out or is pulling an all-nighter).
That’s how I want this tiny weekly space to feel.
It’s called One Question Wednesday’s (because ya’ll know I like to name everything and you know I love Wednesday’s (well, OG’s know *sips wine*), and questions): a subscriber discussion thread.
For Free Babes every first Wednesday of the month, for Paid Babes every week.
Expect a range. Think delirious, delicious gist in the company of close friends at 4 AM after coming home from a party where none of you knew anyone. Or the ease, honesty, and vulnerability present while laying next to lover on a weeknight, a bottle of whatever it is you like to sip between you. Or an unplugged chance encounter with a fascinating stranger halfway across the country. You accept an invitation for an evening stroll, the two of you set forth with nothing to lose and everything to gain from asking and answering.
All of it.
Ok, ok. Enough from me.
TODAY’S QUESTION: What situation did TV/movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?
I used to think that every sex scene in a romantic relationship would be some beautifully edited, slow motion sephia montage while 90’s R&B thrummed in the background thanks to movies like “Brown Sugar” and “Love and Basketball.” That was not the case the first go around and has…not…been the case for the majority of adulthood lmao.
I’ll be reading/responding tonight and tomorrow! Can’t wait to see your answers.
I always thought having one huge friend group was a common thing for adults. Scenes from Living Single, Girlfriends, A Different World…shaped this thought. Now in my late 20’s, I look around and see small pockets of friend groups. The group from high school, the group from college, different jobs, and so forth. It’s not what I imagined but I’m eternally grateful of the different groups that shape the different parts of who I am. 💕
I used to think friends just always had time to meet up after work / during lunch on the daily at the bar / coffeehouse / restaurant. (How I met your mother, SATC, etc).
I thought a life partner would automatically happen after a certain age or even frustration level; that person would magically appear because that’s what happens in the movies. Not so, not that! At least not yet. Lol
I used to think that the road to adulthood would be seamless and easy. By 25, all my friends and I would be parents, juggling our perfect careers with our dream like households. We would have it all figured out and we would all grow at the same pace. We would go through things at the exact same time, similar to adolescence, and just be a few blocks away from the nearest friend when in need. Oh, how I thought things would be so simple.
I thought I would live with my closest friends throughout my 20’s and that we would have fun all the time. Instead I had way too many house shares with strangers that I could not stand 🥴
That true love was some long epic drama, like Ross & Rachel in Friends. I identified and even tried to be like Rachel in my adolescence. Over time I realized that the drama was totally created in my own mind which then manifested in my romantic relationships. Not real life haha.
One Question Wednesday's
I always thought having one huge friend group was a common thing for adults. Scenes from Living Single, Girlfriends, A Different World…shaped this thought. Now in my late 20’s, I look around and see small pockets of friend groups. The group from high school, the group from college, different jobs, and so forth. It’s not what I imagined but I’m eternally grateful of the different groups that shape the different parts of who I am. 💕
I used to think friends just always had time to meet up after work / during lunch on the daily at the bar / coffeehouse / restaurant. (How I met your mother, SATC, etc).
Now it’s like:
1. That’s mad $$$
2. Ain’t nobody got that kind of time😂😩
I the other was common to have it all figured out before 30
I thought a life partner would automatically happen after a certain age or even frustration level; that person would magically appear because that’s what happens in the movies. Not so, not that! At least not yet. Lol
I used to think that the road to adulthood would be seamless and easy. By 25, all my friends and I would be parents, juggling our perfect careers with our dream like households. We would have it all figured out and we would all grow at the same pace. We would go through things at the exact same time, similar to adolescence, and just be a few blocks away from the nearest friend when in need. Oh, how I thought things would be so simple.
I used to think that every pregnant person loved being pregnant, and that it was always a beautiful time and experience in their life.
Well that was a lie.
I am yet to experience it, but I have learnt a considerable amount from others and I’m mentally better equipped.
I thought I would live with my closest friends throughout my 20’s and that we would have fun all the time. Instead I had way too many house shares with strangers that I could not stand 🥴
That true love was some long epic drama, like Ross & Rachel in Friends. I identified and even tried to be like Rachel in my adolescence. Over time I realized that the drama was totally created in my own mind which then manifested in my romantic relationships. Not real life haha.