2021 In Review Pt. II
Tell the tale that scares you. Write it without editing. Speak it without judging.
6/6: What are the 5 things that, if you had the courage to do them, would give you a feeling of satisfaction and self-respect?
6/20: I’ve benefited the least from being the “strongest” child, the “dutiful daughter.” From going about things the “proper” way. I've unknowingly perpetuated a sense of entitlement to my time, energy, and well-being. I’ve been sacrificing since I was 15. I’m 2 weeks away from turning 31. I will not be made to feel like a bad daughter for not appeasing everyone. I will not shrink myself any longer. I am who I am. And what I am will never happen again.
6/21: Your only task is to trust the process and do the work. Cease resisting yourself, others, life. Self-examination and self-correction will remove all obstructions. Lay aside mistrust and release tension.
7/4: “Don’t let your solitude obscure the presence of something within it that wants to emerge. Precisely this presence will help your solitude expand. People are drawn to the easy and to the easiest side of the easy. But it is clear that we must hold ourselves to the difficult, as is true for everything alive. Everything in nature grows and defends itself in its own way and against all opposition, straining from within and at any price to become distinctively itself. It is good to be solitary, because solitude is difficult, and that a thing is difficult must be even more of a reason for us to undertake it.
To love is good too, for love is difficult. For one person to care for another, that is perhaps the most difficult thing required of us, the utmost and final test, the work for which all other work is but a preparation. With our whole being, with all the strength we have gathered, we must learn to love.
Almost everything that matters is hard, and everything matters.” —Rainer Marie Rilke
7/16: Talked to Lev the other day. Amazing fuckin guy. Sometimes past people in your life were simply conduits to meeting others. Lev is one of those others. We hadn't talked in almost 7 years yet it only felt like 7 days. He spoke life into me when he didn’t have to.
There was a moment in writing today where I completely lost myself. I was a vessel. It scared me. I was in complete servitude to the story. I knew, in my bones, that this was a place I’d have to return to in order to finish.
7/23: Never stop stepping into the life you deserve.
Chop down doors.
Clear rooms for your dream.