I lost a friendship this summer. A misunderstanding that the other didn't want to explain or solve, the choosing of another friend over another. The lack of caring, of admitting when they were wrong, of wanting to reconcile. Of believing them to trust fall only to...fall. Hard.
It broke my heart into many pieces and I have since been healing from the hurt. Your reflection is aiding me in the healing. Thank you!
Listen after reading your first paragraph. That wasn’t a friend.. ooh been there tooo. I noticed how I was treated vs how she treated other friends. It like hell
A friendship of over a decade ended this year - really, it began its descent last year (letting go isn’t easy). The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that friendship by proximity is no longer an option for me. I no longer have the capacity to hold onto commitments that aren’t. Time and a shared history alone aren’t enough to tolerate the absence of friend they once were. I’ve learned that friendships, like people, evolve, and if someone isn’t willing to grow with you, it’s okay to move on without them.
I last a friend of 10+ years because I set a boundary after being hurt by him. He went off on me and we haven’t spoken in almost a year. I was sad very briefly but then I felt relieved because he & I were growing apart. He always felt the need to replace me. Only recently I started to feel a bit angry thinking back on that friendship but I feel like this came right on time.
I lost friendships over these past two years, that have brought many challenges. I’m, a people pleaser which leads me to not using my voice. Constantly showing up for others, blowing off my feelings. Putting others feelings before mind. Not communicating my feelings.
My voice got lost, and I became frustrated. When this happened, I shutdown and isolated myself.
Communication is so important in our relationships, I’m learning that now.
Choosing spaces and people that align with my values. I’m healing from these friendships along with other traumatic events. Thank you for sharing your essay with us!
I lost a friendship this summer. A misunderstanding that the other didn't want to explain or solve, the choosing of another friend over another. The lack of caring, of admitting when they were wrong, of wanting to reconcile. Of believing them to trust fall only to...fall. Hard.
It broke my heart into many pieces and I have since been healing from the hurt. Your reflection is aiding me in the healing. Thank you!
Listen after reading your first paragraph. That wasn’t a friend.. ooh been there tooo. I noticed how I was treated vs how she treated other friends. It like hell
A friendship of over a decade ended this year - really, it began its descent last year (letting go isn’t easy). The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that friendship by proximity is no longer an option for me. I no longer have the capacity to hold onto commitments that aren’t. Time and a shared history alone aren’t enough to tolerate the absence of friend they once were. I’ve learned that friendships, like people, evolve, and if someone isn’t willing to grow with you, it’s okay to move on without them.
***lost not last lol
I last a friend of 10+ years because I set a boundary after being hurt by him. He went off on me and we haven’t spoken in almost a year. I was sad very briefly but then I felt relieved because he & I were growing apart. He always felt the need to replace me. Only recently I started to feel a bit angry thinking back on that friendship but I feel like this came right on time.
Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
We are SO BACK baby. This is gorgeous, Nneka. I’ll be reflecting on your points here for the rest of the week. 🥰
Nneka, thank you for your reflection and reminders 🤎
💖
eras end🫶🏾PERIOD! “To have a friend is to be a friend” simple
I lost friendships over these past two years, that have brought many challenges. I’m, a people pleaser which leads me to not using my voice. Constantly showing up for others, blowing off my feelings. Putting others feelings before mind. Not communicating my feelings.
My voice got lost, and I became frustrated. When this happened, I shutdown and isolated myself.
Communication is so important in our relationships, I’m learning that now.
Choosing spaces and people that align with my values. I’m healing from these friendships along with other traumatic events. Thank you for sharing your essay with us!