003. The Key To Happiness

More followers, more money, more clothes, more friends, more healing, more affirmations.

3/100: How do you let go of the pursuit of happiness and learn to live in the now?

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Dear Faith,

I saw the same people, at the same office, in the same small town for almost 15 years. I took the same two streets to my parent’s house when I moved back home at 23 to save money after a breakup. I ate at the same restaurants downtown and bought the same snacks from Trader Joe’s and wished the same thing every Sunday evening: that I could move away like the rest of my friends and start my life instead of waiting for it.

The extra income I saved from living at home allowed me to travel more frequently, so every chance I got I was gone. The destination didn’t matter, it was the leaving I was addicted to. I loved watching the same city, with the same people, at the same office fade to nothing from 30,000 ft in the air.

Then days would pass, the high would fade, and I’d inevitably have to come home. The hard truth I was running from is that everything normalizes. Even the travel, after a while, felt frivolous.

Shit, I thought changing boyfriends was the key until days turned to months and the new one was worse than the old. I thought money was the key until I started earning more and no amount proved enough. I thought more followers, a thinner body, better clothes, and maybe some awards might sustain it, but remember, Faith, human beings are insatiable.

Don’t get me wrong, new things can drastically improve your quality of life or be buffers to stress, but they cannot and will not keep you in a constant state of happiness. The contrast, the other emotions that live inside us, will still exist. The anger, sadness, jealousy and all the unsavory bits being necessary. The darkness is the only way you recognize real light.

And happiness, I’ve found, doesn’t live in the past or some distant future. It’s a feeling you can access through gratitude in the present.

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3/100: How do you let go of the pursuit of happiness and learn to live in the now?

Thank you for watching, reading, listening. I’m looking forward to reading your answers to this one, friends.

—Nneka